The
Art of Embracing Your Weird Self: Self-Love
Self-love is accepting yourself just the way you are. Accepting
your weaknesses can help you a lot to make peace with yourself.
You have to believe you are an extraordinary and
eminent creature because you are. The moment you realize this, the world
will realize it too. You have to respect and value yourself first if you seek
validation from others. But, in reality validation from others should not
matter much, you should be intrinsically satisfied with your choices. This
automatically comes with self-confidence and realizing your self-worth.
Initially, extrinsic factors (positive feedback from others) may help you to
feel confident about yourself.
You have to prioritize yourself and keep yourself
first. This neither means being narcissistic nor selfish. Unlike narcissism,
which is excessive self-absorption and self-interest, self-love is
a positive trait. Loving yourself means having a good understanding of
both your strengths and weaknesses. Narcissism is generally associated with
poor mental health. But high self-love has a positive effect on your
well-being, mental fitness and your relationships.
10 signs of a lack of self-love
Since a healthy amount of self-love has such
beneficial qualities, you can probably guess that a lack of self-love can be
detrimental. Here are some signs of low self-love:
- Perfectionism
and fear of failure
- Avoidance
of self-care and neglect of personal needs
- Tolerating
toxic or abusive relationships
- Difficulty
saying "no" and over-committing
- Comparing
oneself unfavorably to others
- Negative
self-talk and constant self-criticism
- Difficulty
setting and maintaining healthy boundaries
- Seeking
external validation and approval excessively
- Engaging
in self-sabotaging behaviors
- Chronic
feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem
Everyday practices you can adopt to
cultivate self-love:
1. 1.Know
Yourself: Think
of getting to know yourself like starting a new relationship. Start it and
you will eventually enjoy your own company. Nurture positive self-talk and affirmations
You would not need others for ‘happiness’ if you are content with yourself.
You should be self-aware. For this you need
to introspect regularly. Know your strengths and weaknesses, accept them
gracefully and work on them.
2. 2. Forgive
yourself: Acknowledge you mistakes and let all the feeling of grief and
resentment in. After they have served their purpose and you have let yourself
to ‘feel those feelings’, they will eventually fade away. Do not self-sabotage
yourself for the mistakes you have made instead learn from them and make sure
you do not repeat them. Do not try to be a perfect model that can never commit
mistakes. Its your flaws that shape you.
3. Self-care routines- Practice the habits that provide internal satisfaction and peace to yourself. Filling shopping carts with goodies, having a skin-care routine or taking yourself to a fancy restaurant can be self-care for one. While, rewarding yourself with ice-cream when you complete a task, going on nature-walks, deep breathing or cleaning can be forms of self-care for another.
4. Embrace your uniqueness- Celebrating
your individuality is a powerful way to practice self-love. In a world that often
emphasizes conformity, embracing what makes you unique can be a radical act of
self-affirmation.
Express yourself authentically everywhere. This way you will attract the
people and situations that align with you. Engage yourself in activities you
like. Stop comparing yourself to others, it is the worst thing you can do to
yourself. Everyone has their own journey and destination. Focus just on
yourself and stay absolutely unbothered by others.
It can take some time but when you start loving yourself, you will begin to realize you are what you find in others. You will do better everywhere. You will connect better with others when you are at peace with yourself. You will smile more often and we be really happy from within.
